I have a six-year-old daughter. As anyone who is a parent knows, you often need to get… creative with solutions to cranky or overwrought children. I thought I’d share this horrible lie I tell my child in order to calm her down. It works LIKE MAGIC!
This is a cherished family recipe. And by “family recipe” I mean “my somewhat desperate brother-in-law made it up when he was babysitting.”
- ice (optional)
- a somewhat gullible child
- Tell your child you are making her “magic” water and she’s not allowed to see you do it. That would break the magic.
- Fill a cup with water. Add ice, if you’re feeling generous.
- Give the water to your child. Note: if your child asks you what makes the water magic, tell her it’s a special ingredient called a “placebo.”
- Enjoy a few minutes of blessed silence.
I swear to God this works. Child having a crying spell because the dog stole her cookie? MAGIC WATER. Child has blown past “tired” and into “holy crap everything ever is the worst thing ever?” MAGIC WATER. My kid will often, between hugely dramatic sobs, choke out a request for magic water. That’s where it’s actually magic.
One day in the future, my child will figure this out. By then, I’m hoping she’ll be able to just deal with it when minor tragedy strikes.
…I’m also hoping that Daddy will be home, and not me.